As October got nearer and nearer I thought about what would I do on the 20th, the first anniversary of my daughter Stephanies death last year at age 24. I wanted to do something, but a special event doesnt suit my personality, nor what Stephanie would  have wanted. My older son Tim has grieved at his pace only going to the cemetary 8 months after the funeral with his young family as a side trip. In my own manly manner I was not going to let a calandar day force me to grieve . I would grieve as the need arouse.

 But life doesnt always let us be such good planners. My sister called Sunday night and said she wasnt sure if she should tell me some news. I teased her and said, after facing Steph’s death last year what could possibly bother me now? She quietely told me that my 36 year old niece had died that day of an apparent drug overdose and like lightening from a clear blue sky my nice, neat manly plan to control the grieveing of my daughter came crashing down in a wave of tears and sobbing like so much heavy thunder, and I fell back into my seat. 

You would have thought after this past year through the waves of grief I would have learned that life isnt so simple and surely not controllable.  Come Friday I can at least offer my brother and sister in law a knowing ear and try to comfort them from one who  has lost a child. And that by itself, like our fathers group, helps us go on . Steve Robinson