First, I invite you to read Chris’ wonderfully open and insightful comment to “Grieving At My Own Pace” before reading this.

Yes, our culture has for a long time and still says to men, “Don’t cry. Be strong.” This destructive message and pressure flies in the very opposite direction of how we (all humans) are made: to release all emotion, whether it’s laughter because of joy or tears because of pain.

Between 1996 and 2000 I went through my fourth, fifth and sixth knee operations. It was an extremely painful time. The combination of the long-term physical pain along with the sadness of knowing that I could never again do things I greatly loved (running, tennis, etc.) produced a form of a broken heart and deep grieving. I was struggling because I didn’t have enough outlets…healthy ways of releasing the pain that was building in me.

During the course of having physical therapy after my sixth operation, the therapist told me about a certain technique that releases pain, which gets stored in our bodies. She explained that pain gets “bottled up” in tissue called fascia.

Each of the two fascia release treatments I had was a profound experience and proved to me just how the body, mind, heart and soul needs to release pain. After the treatments, the pain transference I had to my “good” knee left and I gained more degrees of flexion with my new knee than what could be gained in three weeks of PT.

I learned so much. During those difficult years, I should have cried more. I should have had some one to talk to; a really close friend I could open up with throughout that time. I should have gotten more than just the little pain management counseling that I did.

What are the ways you have or might consider letting out the pain?

On a scale of one to ten (ten being the greatest extent of letting the pain out), how would you rate yourself? Has this changed over time?